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Who Am I?

I woke up this morning with the lyrics of Les Miserable circulating through my brain “Who am I…to love another person is to see the face of God”. The truth of these lyrics has been haunting me. Not this morning but over and over again since my first and second experiences with the movie. Who […]

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The Genetics and Neuroscience of Love

Neuroscience is on the hunt for the essence of what connects us. The evidence is now clear that we are connected with each other emotionally in deeper ways than we have been able to imagine. Louis Cozolino in the book “The Neuroscience of Human Relationships” writes: “There are no single brains…Through the biochemical alchemy of […]

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The Fear of Attachment

There was a whole lot happening for me emotionally before we did that first ride!So wait! We need to back up. Seeing the tandem racing bike for the first time made my heart beat faster. Everything about it looked like a racer even if it was 10 years old. The custom hubs, the Ultegra gearing, […]

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Fulfllment and Attachment

What happens in any relationship when one discovers a repressed part of oneself and now has a new passion for life? Such was the case for me (Michael) when I discovered the challenge and excitement of cycling. It felt great to feel my physical strength again. The college linebacker in me could now be expressed […]

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Left Behind

As Michael enjoyed his early days of riding solo with the guys, I did my own thing on the home front, waiting for his brief recap at the end of his adventures.  His exhaustion and non-detail driven right brain only allowed for summarized recaps. The details I required were often left untold which left me […]

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The Power of Emotional Attunement

Emotional attunement may be the most important foundation for helping couples overcome obstacles and work together to make great achievements. In couples therapy emotional attunement refers to what John Gottman makes reference to as: awareness, tolerance, non-defensive listening, understanding, and empathy.  These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the […]

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The Science of Brag and Bash Leadership

One of the most difficult types of organizations to work with is one which is controlled by what I call “brag and bash leadership.” It does not take a lot of looking around to notice leaders with a very black and white view of the “good and bad” people within their sphere of influence. They […]

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Leaders Mirror Emotion

 A number of years ago I talked with a group of executives about how the emotions of the top leaders in an organization affect the whole emotional tone of the organization. While this finding reported in the Harvard Business Review intuitively made sense to me I didn’t understand at the time what the mechanism was […]

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Drama or Authentic Distress

My (Paula) attention is often peaked when people use the word “drama” to define their behavior. It seems to me to be a word that dismisses the reality of emotion.  Having been around little girls between the ages of 3 and whatever, I do understand the origin of the word’s misuse; however the overuse of […]

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