Marriage Counseling – San Luis Obispo, CA

Call for a FREE phone consult!

1(559) 222-2442

The Beauty of Being You

I woke in the middle of the night in awe of a Facebook video that I experienced: The Beauty of Being You. At three a.m. I had to drag myself out of bed to pen these thoughts and emotions. I was deeply touched by the beauty of what I experienced.

I began to reflect on the couples that tearfully slip into my office trying to recover the beauty they once saw in each other. Explosively, or silently, they express the primal pain of having lost their beauty in the eyes of their beloved. Deep deep sadness and despair exudes when the closest person in the universe can no longer see them.

There is a madness that overtakes us when the song of our hearts no longer mesmerizes the one person we long to draw close. We know it in our bones. We all embody the truth of the beauty of who we really are. We say to ourselsong of heart_sves you saw it once, and when you did, I felt divine. There was something so right about that experience of reality. We are desperate to feeling again.

The loss of adoration cuts so deep. It defies the truth of who we are. The reflection of disapproval in the eyes of our lover tears the fabric of us. We are something together that is infinitely more beautiful than the sum of our parts. To lose the ability to see into the soul of our loved one is a grief sometimes too deep to bear.

Being less than beautiful to our beloved sets our whole world out of balance. There is no rest, no safe place to lay our heads and have our hearts held. The aloneness is deafening. The defeat is a disaster we barely know how to speak of. It’s too wrong and raw to put into words.

Often I am able to see the beauty that brought the distressed, pledged-for-life souls together. I am in awe as I’m invited into the sacred chambers of their hearts. I penetrate their pain, seeking to understand the thick walls and angry reactions that protect them from complete annihilation. What is the meaning of this madness? What is the cause of the chaos of love that turns life on its head?

There is a deep undeniable beauty in being human. We embody the essence of something so much greater than we understand. We know it and still lose our sense of it. We are searching for the reassurance that it is really true. We must know the extraordinary, unique yet universal, essence of who we are.

While it may feel nice to be praised by friends or colleagues, that is not the true longing of our hearts. To be seen as beautiful by the one we love is enough to right a million wrongs that we endure along the journey of life. He/she who know our humanly flaws and still sees the divine beauty in us, that is the love and reassurance that gives us life.

The Facebook post that tapped into the depths of my unconscious and awakened me was of a man and woman playing Tchaikovsky’s Sugar Plum Ferry on water glasses. The infinite creativity and love expressed in this music is a deep reminder of what sets humans apart from the whole of creation. Enjoy and imagine!

The books Hold Me Tight and Love Sense by Sue Johnson, Ph.D. may help you begin to understand and grow in emotional communication. Visit our home page or go to to find an Emotionally Focused Therapist in your area.


Comments are currently closed.