July 1, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Emotional attunement may be the most important foundation for helping couples overcome obstacles and work together to make great achievements. In couples therapy emotional attunement refers to what John Gottman makes reference to as: awareness, tolerance, non-defensive listening, understanding, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the […]
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The Fear of Attachment
August 8, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
There was a whole lot happening for me emotionally before we did that first ride!So wait! We need to back up. Seeing the tandem racing bike for the first time made my heart beat faster. Everything about it looked like a racer even if it was 10 years old. The custom hubs, the Ultegra gearing, […]
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Fulfllment and Attachment
July 6, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What happens in any relationship when one discovers a repressed part of oneself and now has a new passion for life? Such was the case for me (Michael) when I discovered the challenge and excitement of cycling. It felt great to feel my physical strength again. The college linebacker in me could now be expressed […]
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The Power of Emotional Attunement
July 1, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Emotional attunement may be the most important foundation for helping couples overcome obstacles and work together to make great achievements. In couples therapy emotional attunement refers to what John Gottman makes reference to as: awareness, tolerance, non-defensive listening, understanding, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the […]
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The Science of Brag and Bash Leadership
June 27, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
One of the most difficult types of organizations to work with is one which is controlled by what I call “brag and bash leadership.” It does not take a lot of looking around to notice leaders with a very black and white view of the “good and bad” people within their sphere of influence. They […]
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Leaders Mirror Emotion
June 14, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
A number of years ago I talked with a group of executives about how the emotions of the top leaders in an organization affect the whole emotional tone of the organization. While this finding reported in the Harvard Business Review intuitively made sense to me I didn’t understand at the time what the mechanism was […]
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Drama or Authentic Distress
June 9, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
My (Paula) attention is often peaked when people use the word “drama” to define their behavior. It seems to me to be a word that dismisses the reality of emotion. Having been around little girls between the ages of 3 and whatever, I do understand the origin of the word’s misuse; however the overuse of […]
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Leaders Who Listen
June 6, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Bill, an operations manager of a technology manufacturing company, was seeking coaching to improve his leadership of his team leaders without using command and control tactics. His use of fear and intimidation had created a work environment that resulted in those reporting to him either avoiding him or being overly dependent on him for fear […]
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Going Solo
June 5, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
When Michael and I met, I had been enjoying leisurely bicycle rides on my hybrid 18-speed bike. Michael being bike-less and our wanting to enjoy the sport as a couple, he began the arduous mission of bike research. Feeling certain that my hybrid equipment (kind of a cross between road and mountain bike) would also […]
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The Science of New Love
May 31, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Clients continue to come to me who have the notion that no one will be harmed if they enter into an adult consenting sexual relationship. A woman told me that she needed to get into a relationship to survive the pain of leaving the love of her life. She saw no problem in “using” the […]
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How L5 Relational Leaders Think
May 22, 2012 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
The books “Good to Great” and “Tribal Leadership” define five different levels of leadership, with L5 being the most advanced level. The authors of Tribal Leadership describe L5 thinking by the theme “life is great” and by the mood “innocent wonderment.” In their study of corporate cultures they found that only two percent of companies […]
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