September 12, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I am leading a new men’s group, attended mostly by men who I have been seeing with their wives in couple’s therapy. Beginning each group with a centering mediation, today I began to focus on the area of embracing our true masculinity. I asked the men to get in touch with who they are as […]
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Marriage Counseling – San Luis Obispo, CA
Attachment and Anger Part III: Taming the Tiger Within
February 1, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What if you are caught in a cycle of conflict with the person you love and your bad anger is destroying your bond? How do you tame the terrified tiger inside of you? Most intimacy anger is rooted in the fear of losing the person we love. And we often have difficulty admitting to ourselves […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger Part II: 4 Dangerous Ways to Express Our Anger
January 24, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
In Attachment and Violent Anger Part I, I talked about how attachment with caregivers in our early-years causes us to form either a positive trusting view of our selves and others or a view that is negative and mistrustful. Loss of attachment is critically dangerous to human beings. When people trapped in the World Trade […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger – Part 1: How They Are Connected
January 18, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
How are Attachment and Violent Anger Connected? Understanding the connection between intimacy and anger is important for improving our own relationship, and if you are a therapist like me knowing how to help others. Some couples I work with are so stuck in a cycle of anger that the emotional communication work I normally do […]
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The Beauty of Being You
January 11, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I woke in the middle of the night in awe of a Facebook video that I experienced: The Beauty of Being You. At three a.m. I had to drag myself out of bed to pen these thoughts and emotions. I was deeply touched by the beauty of what I experienced. I began to reflect on […]
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Are You a Pursuer or Withdrawer?
October 14, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What happens when you get into an emotional conversation with your mate? Do you pursue the other person to try to get him or her to understand the depths of the pain you are feeling? Or do you find yourself being overwhelmed by your partner’s emotion and feel like the best thing to do is […]
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Emotional Attunement is Essential for Marriage and Personal Health
September 30, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What is Emotional Attunement? Emotional attunement is being tuned in to the emotions of others. From the time we are born we need at least one trusted person to help us make sense of our internal and external world. Infants who bond with their mothers look to them for first-line help to navigate physical reality. […]
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What is True Masculinity?
September 12, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I am leading a new men’s group, attended mostly by men who I have been seeing with their wives in couple’s therapy. Beginning each group with a centering mediation, today I began to focus on the area of embracing our true masculinity. I asked the men to get in touch with who they are as […]
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What is Servant Leadership?
September 1, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Reflecting this morning on the verse “the son of man did not come into the world to be served but to serve.” Matthew 20:28 This brought to mind the work of Robert Greenleaf who over 100 years ago defined the concept of servant leadership. In his book Essentials he wrote: “The servant-leader is servant first… […]
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10 Resolutions Worth Keeping
December 31, 2013 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
Have you ever wondered why less than 17% of Americans are able to live into their new years resolutions? Can you guess what the top three resolutions are that Americans make? 1. Loosing weight. 2. Getting organized. 3. Spending less and saving more. What if our resolutions truly lined up with our core values and […]
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What Makes the Holidays Happy?
December 24, 2013 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
So many of us idealize the season of Christmas. Neuroscience has taught us that we are created for connection and that our brains crave hugs and warm emotional affirmations. This does indeed bring us happiness and a sense of well being. No matter how old we are we cannot help but wish for the magic […]
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