October 21, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
For those of you who know us, you may have noticed some of the not-so-subtle differences in the way we roll. On the tandem I prefer the gentle rolling hills which nurture and calm my spirit; Michael goes after the big climb in anticipation of the exhilarating decent at 40+ mile-per-hour speeds. Both of our […]
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Attachment and Anger Part III: Taming the Tiger Within
February 1, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What if you are caught in a cycle of conflict with the person you love and your bad anger is destroying your bond? How do you tame the terrified tiger inside of you? Most intimacy anger is rooted in the fear of losing the person we love. And we often have difficulty admitting to ourselves […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger Part II: 4 Dangerous Ways to Express Our Anger
January 24, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
In Attachment and Violent Anger Part I, I talked about how attachment with caregivers in our early-years causes us to form either a positive trusting view of our selves and others or a view that is negative and mistrustful. Loss of attachment is critically dangerous to human beings. When people trapped in the World Trade […]
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Tandem Marriage: Being Your Best Self With The Person You Love
January 22, 2016 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
What is Tandem Marriage? Merriam Webster defines “tandem” as: a group of two people or things that work together; in partnership or in conjunction. If you have read through some of our previous Tandem Marriage blog posts, you’ll know that Michael and I ride a tandem racing bike, a bicycle-built-for-two. We have covered a bunch […]
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Attachment and Violent Anger – Part 1: How They Are Connected
January 18, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
How are Attachment and Violent Anger Connected? Understanding the connection between intimacy and anger is important for improving our own relationship, and if you are a therapist like me knowing how to help others. Some couples I work with are so stuck in a cycle of anger that the emotional communication work I normally do […]
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The Beauty of Being You
January 11, 2016 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
I woke in the middle of the night in awe of a Facebook video that I experienced: The Beauty of Being You. At three a.m. I had to drag myself out of bed to pen these thoughts and emotions. I was deeply touched by the beauty of what I experienced. I began to reflect on […]
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Love, Respect and Love Languages Did Not Save My Life!
December 16, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
Admittedly I am envious of the fame and fortune of popular Christian books suggesting a better marriage in 5, 7 or 10 steps. Love languages, respect and his and her needs are all pieces of making great marriage. But so much popular love advice today misses the love language of emotional connection. On a […]
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Pulling Your Own Weight: Is Your Marital Partnership Equitable?
December 8, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
It’s been two and a half years since saying goodbye to my healthy monthly paycheck and joining my husband in full time partnership. On occasion I still wonder if my accomplishments or contributions to our partnership are earning my keep. Am I doing my fair share in furthering our mission and vision? Though I have […]
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Tandem or Solo…Safe or Sorry?
October 21, 2014 / by Paula / Relational Excellence Articles, Tandem Marriage
For those of you who know us, you may have noticed some of the not-so-subtle differences in the way we roll. On the tandem I prefer the gentle rolling hills which nurture and calm my spirit; Michael goes after the big climb in anticipation of the exhilarating decent at 40+ mile-per-hour speeds. Both of our […]
Read more
Are You a Pursuer or Withdrawer?
October 14, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What happens when you get into an emotional conversation with your mate? Do you pursue the other person to try to get him or her to understand the depths of the pain you are feeling? Or do you find yourself being overwhelmed by your partner’s emotion and feel like the best thing to do is […]
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Emotional Attunement is Essential for Marriage and Personal Health
September 30, 2014 / by Michael Wayne Regier Ph.D. / Relational Excellence Articles
What is Emotional Attunement? Emotional attunement is being tuned in to the emotions of others. From the time we are born we need at least one trusted person to help us make sense of our internal and external world. Infants who bond with their mothers look to them for first-line help to navigate physical reality. […]
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