First Experience Of Tandem Marriage
Are you and your partner in sync? Do you do life in tandem? Or have you developed parallel lives? What might a tandem marriage look like for you?
Here’s the beginning of our tandem marriage story.
I (Paula) was at work when I got the pic on my cell phone…a beautiful red bicycle-built-for-two strapped to the back of my vehicle. Oh my goodness, had my guy gone mad, or was he simply getting on board with the spirit of connection?
Let’s take a pause and look at the definition of “tandem“. It’s way more than a cycle. We consider it a way of doing life.
As I write these words I feel the smile creasing my face and am flooded with images of so many life-giving, breath-taking exhilarating experiences. My initial feelings were all over the board. I had ridden a tandem once as a kid. But nothing this road-worthy. And never with the man I was growing to love.
I was overwhelmed with the reality that Michael wanted to be that close to me. And that meant he would probably be giving less time to the boys. He’d be giving more time to connecting with me. I felt pretty special.
In what had looked to me like many unproductive hours, Michael had been doing his homework on the sport of riding tandem. He had found our lovingly-used gem just a few miles down the road for a great price.I have since learned to appreciate his research!
It wouldn’t be long before he would sell his Suzuki motorcycle and recoup the majority of his tandem outlay. This is going to be a blast!!!
So the first task was getting some pedals and some shoes…who would have thought you’d buy a bike without the pedals. I now know that people not only become partial to their pedals, but their shoes are the counterpart to them.
Then it hit me. I am going to clip my shoes, which house my feet, onto these pedals. If you recall from my earliest post, I was NEVER going to do anything so ludicrous.
The first try in front of our house was very discouraging to say the least. I later learned that Michael figured our tandem adventures were over before they ever began.
Let’s just say I was somewhat challenged by the whole concept of clipping in and clipping out. His patience was imperatively long-suffering. NOTE: As I mounted our Red Glory behind my man totally decked out in his appropriate cycling apparel, I did NOT wear spandex.
We spent all of 15 minutes reading about riding tandem. CAUTION — do a bit more homework than that. God with us, we had a most successful maiden journey riding from home to the quaint nearby town of Exeter (you will hear much of our beloved Exeter as you journey with us).
We stopped for coffee and reveled in our early success. Sitting atop a pretty high metaphorical pedestal we agreed to ride up and over Rocky Hill which is about a 1,500 ft climb.
We had no idea at this point just how much we had to learn about the skillful synchronization of doing anything in tandem. But we would learn what tandem marriage meant.
With our commitment to connection and doing life in tandem, we would climb many more mountains. And we would attempt to clip in securely and always enjoy the ride.
I’m Paula Regier. With my husband Dr. Michael Regier we help couples understand the importance of emotional connection and doing life in tandem. We co-authored the book Emotional Connection: The Story & Science of Preventing Conflict & Creating Lifetime Love. Dr. Regier is a certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist and EFT Supervisor, highly trained in the art of emotional connection.